Unstructured, jumbled… Muddled through… completely confused…
That could perhaps roughly describe what has been going on in me lately.
The emphasis is on approximately…! *laughs* (my laughter never goes away ;-)ever something)
I warn you against it. This article will reflect exactly this "muddled". It is also longer because it contains a theme that is formative for me. It was important to me to give it as much space as it needs. This was also noticeable in the preparation. This theme wanted a lot of time and space.
Maybe you even read to the end, which would make me personally very happy, because it gets very intense towards the end. Somehow everything is structured in reverse, according to what it looks like in me and how this contribution wanted to be created.
So enjoy it and maybe you'll have some AHA effects while reading! 🙂
Self-care
Right now, I feel different every 10 seconds, and my perception feels like a hundred DSL speed downloads at once. In addition, there are the personal challenges that affect you.
And honestly, sometimes I would like to hide away. I'm really fed up with personal challenges. *grrr*
Probably every one of you knows.
It was quite quiet around me for a few days now. On the outside. Yes, exactly… That happens to me too. Even more often.
No, that's no reason for others to worry either… I perceive, learn and then rearrange everything around me.
Some "people" out there still think that this is unusual and worrying. Listen, my soul had a challenge again and in that time I do a lot of SELF-CARE and soul care. Correct…I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. Not the other way around. So I can then be a contribution to others and create something new. If I were to distract myself with external things every time, as many do, I would not get to know myself and would be a danger to others, just as many there are, because they do not know and assess themselves.
By the way, there is nothing cooler and more exciting than yourself….*smile*… That should be acknowledged.
Beaming, crying, raging
The radiant woman can laugh, be angry, rejoice like a snow queen and she can also cry. And even much more…;-) Everything you're looking for.
My heart project is called "Die Strahlefrau" and we two have exactly the energy. But that doesn't mean I don't have obstacles to overcome. What if this is absolutely brilliant with a radiance?
That had to be said.
It's interesting what views are circulating…*smile*
Rays arise in the darkness, spread and thus contain everything 🙂
Gremlins…I don't care
What was going on?
You work on yourself, again and again and think, yes cool….Strike… I'm doing great. Then something comes along again, and it triggers like stupid. Shit no, at some point it's enough.
The last time I noticed how I went into the resistance, because I just had the faxes thick. "Oh no, not again," I thought.
And then… then also the dearest gremlins (don't laugh Dana ;-)) come in the brain and speak in an extremely loud voice "DUUUUUUU? You want to help others and still have topics yourself, how do you want to do that, DUUUUU can't do that."
Then I say to them: "It's interesting what you want to tell me, but that's exactly why I want to support others. You can't switch off perception…It is always there.
It is a journey to myself to uncover my radiance and to support others in discovering their radiance. You can talk as hard as you can. I don't care anymore.
I follow my heart and not you. Time to say goodbye I would say.
This is not about being perfect, but about finding ways to create for yourself what works best for you."
Then the Gremlins say loudly again: "But if you are also angry or sad, where is your radiance?" "Dear Gremlins, are you blind? Sadness, anger, joy, everything can be there and has its place. Interesting that you think that grief, anger excludes rays. I transform the energy of anger and everything that comes up there and use it for myself."
Sure, sometimes I sit on the moon for days. From there I look at the scenario to divide everything apart… and to see you Gremlins from a different perspective. *laugh* but then transformation is announced.
Today's pain is tomorrow's strength
I've been looking at it for a few days now and that's enough. I go out of the reaction, into the action and consciously choose what nourishes me, where I feel comfortable.
I've been through this several times now, and I can tell you, the pain you feel today is the power you feel tomorrow. Maybe the day after tomorrow…Ok I admit. It feels cruel, yes, but it changes and above all it transforms.
I now react very extremely with physical signs when something is wrong with me, but it may be. I always know pretty quickly what's going on.
Thank you Body for showing me this so brilliantly.
Out of the feeling and into the power of these energies, which have these feelings in them. We always like to underestimate that.
We were taught "you must not be angry" as a woman or girl, "you must be nice and it is not appropriate to shout". With the boys it is often "boys don't cry". Aha also interesting.
When I'm sad, I cry, when I'm angry, sometimes I cry when I'm not beating my sandbag short and small or dragging some weights around or letting the waves wash my head. The more you go into the resistance, the more intrusive the feelings become. Because they have a task and want to be seen. If we are ignored, we usually don't find it so funny. If we ignore ourselves, certainly not at all.
I prefer to say "Hello dear anger, what do you want to tell me and how can I use this power from you for myself. Who am I when I feel this pain, what is it exactly?" and in this case, e.g. blog articles…*laugh*, I do ten things at the same time and and and…What if we lovingly invite all this to us?!
I show myself
I show myself with everything that's there… with my radiance, my sadness, my vulnerability, my gratitude, my appreciation, my trust and with permission. And yes, it is a recovery to show oneself like this. It always cost me a lot of energy to fight against it and to adapt or to be the way they wanted me to be. Since I stand by what I am and acknowledge it, it is like a liberation blow for me.
I also know the other side of radiance. That is why I know that it is possible, and that much more is possible.
I like to be alone with myself and I can bear my silence well. I took the time to figure out my own pain, heal myself and create the power to find new possibilities. On the path of my past relationships and affairs, I have realized who I am, what I need to shine and flourish in this world.
In these times of retreat, I don't feel like stepping outside or posting on Facebook. And I don't do that. I don't orient myself on the outside, what needs to be done. I am always present with my energy whether visible on the outside or not. It is important to me that what I bring to the outside world is absolutely coherent from the point in time.
These are processes in which I am calmer on the outside and the next step arises inside. I let myself be guided by my soul and the universe. That is exactly what I want to convey. I don't knock out a blog or Facebook post when it's time again, because a week has already passed, but I knock it out when the time is ripe and it's absolutely right for me.
Triggers? What was that?
This means that in this case old wounds are pointed out in me by a certain person that have not yet healed. Old patterns of behavior that were once there to protect begin automatically. This can also be triggered by smells, noises, etc.
I am now well aware of this….* acknowledging. Lach*… and every time it changes. Nevertheless, I sometimes think, Lord God again… But slow is good, isn't it?
There is no point in judging oneself for what I used to do. Now I lovingly take care of myself, look at what wants to be seen and that changes it. There is room for anger, as well as grief.
It is important to recognize, to go out of the reaction and to step into the action, which is admittedly sometimes a bit idle, because a STOP sign in it. It works better and better and every little choice changes your direction.
The last few weeks… release
The last few months, especially November to January, have always been a challenge for me. It's like being in nature. I lose the leaves, retreat, like it when it's quiet. In the last few weeks, when everything was still frozen in the morning, I watched the trees in the rising sun and they stood there in front of me, without leaves, you could see their shapes, very clearly, unadulterated as they are. That's how I always feel. I stand there without leaves, as if in hibernation… all energy supplies run on low flame… and in spring everything blooms even more beautiful and magnificent than ever before.
This time the months were special for me. I let go of two beings at once. A mirror and someone I actually didn't know yet, but somehow all his life.
It became clear to me again that I still make letting go meaningful. Actually, I know that by letting go there is always something wonderful new and in each new one there is the magic of something magical.
Mirror, mirror…. Thanks but now you can go
You learn and look and do and do and think you have healed all parts in you and Zack stands there again someone in your life (always the same person), by whom you feel hurt, devalued. You know very well that what your counterpart does has to do with his past and his history, but what it triggers in you and touches you is yours. I don't want to justify the actions of others here, but I would like to invite you to focus on yourselves.
The focus is on me. People by whom I feel belittled, offended, not seen, are always a mirror of what I do to myself.
What the other person does is his, what I feel, what hurts infinitely deep inside me, mine. The easiest way that many go, they blame the other for what they feel and often the paths separate. But they will often encounter these paths over and over again so that they can look. This applies to both parts. The other person is not the cause of the pain. He mercilessly holds up a mirror to you. I have the responsibility for myself and my feelings. At that moment it is important not to focus the energy on the other but on yourself. Often you start to defend yourself or wage war because you feel attacked. But that won't be a solution to look at what you really feel. Let the feelings be there. Give them space. Take a look. Think of them as visitors who stop by every now and then to see how far you are. They also like to stay for tea…*smile*. I used to go to the resistance a lot. All the worse it got. Now I have the courage to accept it and it transforms. Most of the time it's people who make you feel the pain, from whom you can't let go. Sounds pretty strange but I've been through this several times now and the last times I was aware of it. But I'm not going wrong anymore. I try to look at it as an outside observer without judging it.
" Ah interesting, it's that time again. "
Use this energy to focus the gaze and attention of the other on you. That partly has such power. For example, new projects are omitted.
Often we hold on even more and even more and even more, so as not to have to feel the feelings in us, not to have to see the potential in us, what actually wants to get out. We distract ourselves with it instead of looking at ourselves and bringing our shine, our radiance into the world.
Rejection, powerlessness, not being loved – Look and then be your priority
Observe what you expect from the other, what you do not give yourself. Feel what is inside you, what you reject, what you reject about yourself and invite more of yourself and be the invitation for others. These people come to show you what you don't accept about yourself. Old wounds and patterns come up that were once helpful. Nothing in your life lets you go if you haven't learned the lesson yet. In our society, it is common to suppress, to distract. One wastes the energy in suppression, in not having to feel… instead of using them for themselves. Unhealed emotions such as childish dependence, rejection, powerlessness, non-appreciation, not being loved… In order to…
Live your life and more and more people are coming into your life who confirm exactly who you are. I never wanted to believe it, but it really is. If you feel small, worthless, people come who will show you exactly that again and again. If I am what I am, in my size, in my energy, exactly the people who fit in. People who let you teach that you're not worth it dissolve. You don't resonate with them anymore. If these people only come to mirror what still needs to be healed in you, but then give you no room for it, then say no to the outside and yes to yourself.
Letting go is associated with fears. It is the greatest distraction from oneself, from one's own longings and the excitement of the unknown. What if you are the energy of the new… even bigger.
If you don't let go for fear of losing someone, you eventually lose yourself. Have the courage to look into your doubts and experience what growing up means. Recently, someone said to me when I described what I have recognized and learned in recent years, that I have the responsibility for myself and my feelings and only me: "Mrs. Hüppmeier, congratulations, you have grown up, 80 percent of people do not manage that in their entire lives." I was quite amazed. That explains a lot… Lach… and on the other hand, it is frightening how many close themselves off from it and remain in the role of victim for the rest of their lives.
"For such and such reasons, I can't do that" I encounter this sentence every day and I still know it enough myself. Even if I have to disappoint you now… this is just a lie that you tell yourself so you don't have to get out of your comfort zone. I practiced successfully for years and I felt like shit. That wasn't me. That's why I tell you: Fuck your comfort zone, what is possible beyond that is unicorn billions of times more ingenious.
In between, I digress… Who knows if you've even read this far… Presumably there was already ???.. *Lach*
Familiar!!! Trust yourself! Everything is ordered on the outside when it is ordered on the inside. People disappear, you have always belittled you or they change their behavior. Say yes to yourself and to your feelings. Let go in gratitude with a smile instead of holding on with tears. Follow your heart and walk the pace. It knows what is good for you and will guide you. One step at a time. No matter how small. Completely crazy. The main thing is that you move. Don't look back and focus on the energy you want in your life.
What if letting go is a yes to you and another step into your greatness?
The bravest choice is to let go of what is not good for you and to set yourself as the priority, not as an option and invite more of yourself.
What is right about the challenges that we have not yet recognized?
The next time you want to let go of something or someone, ask yourself, if it feels like the world is going to end, if you really want back what you want or need to let go of because the other person has made a different choice.
Be honest with yourself and feel it… and maybe a smile full of happiness and gratitude comes from inside on your face and you say "NO".
Universe, show me what else is much more ingenious for me beyond all my imaginations…
Have fun!!!
This was a long blog but it had to go. I'm happy if you've come down here…
All the best
Your Susanne